英语短笑话带翻译

　　Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!

　　Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!

　　Mrs. Brown: Its no use, my little dog cant read.
　　我的狗不识字

　　布朗夫人：哦，

　　亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！

　　史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！

　　布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”
　　Good Boy

　　Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with

　　the money I gave you yesterday?"

　　"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

　　"Youre a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents

　　more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

　　"She is the one who sells the candy."

　　好孩子

　　小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

　　“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”

　　“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。

　　“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老

　　太太那么感兴趣呢？”

　　“她是个卖糖果的。”
　　The Perfect Son.

　　A: I have the perfect son.

　　B: Does he smoke?

　　A: No, he doesnt.

　　B: Does he drink whiskey?

　　A: No, he doesnt.

　　B: Does he ever come home late?

　　A: No, he doesnt.

　　B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?

　　A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

　　完美儿子

　　A:我有一个很完美的儿子.

　　B:他抽烟吗?

　　A:不抽.

　　B:他喝威士忌酒吗?

　　A:不喝.

　　B:他会不会很晚回家?

　　A:不会.

　　B:我想你确实有一个完美儿子. 那他多大了?

　　A:下个星期三就满6个月了.

英语小笑话加翻译

Wife talking to her husband (who reads newspaper all day): I wish I were a newspaper so Ill be in your hands all day. 
Husband: I wish that too, so I could change you daily

A君一天到晚埋头看报纸，于是他老婆就说：我真希望我是一份报纸，那样我就可以整天都被你捧在手上。A君答：我也想啊，那样我就可以每天都换一个老婆。

英语笑话带翻译

a man goes to church and starts talking to god. he says: "god, what is a million dollars to you?" and god says: "a penny", then the man says: "god, what is a million years to you?" and god says: "a second", then the man says: "god, can i have a penny?" and god says "in a second" 一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟." four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. the nurse comes up to the first man and says, "congratulations, you got twins." the man said "how strange, im the manager of minnesota twins." after awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "congratulations, you got triplets." man was like "hmmm, strange i worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says "congratulations, you got twins x2." man is happy and says, "ironic, i work for the hotel "4 seasons." all three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing god and banging his head on the wall. they asked him whats wrong and he answered, "whats wrong? i work for 7up"! 四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3m公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:"恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!" 呵呵,一个比一个效率高. osama bin laden, a canadian, and president bush were walking down the street when they saw a golden lamp. they rubbed it and a genie came out and said, "i will grant each one a wish that’s 3 together." the canadian said, "i am a father and my son will be a farmer so i want the soil in canada to be forever fertile." the genie said the magic words and the wish came true. osama looked amazed so he wished for a wall around afghanistan the genie said the magic words and again the wish came true. president bush said "genie, tell me more about this wall," the genie said,” it’s 50 feet thick and 500 feet tall so nothing can get in and nothing can get out." president bush said,” wow! that’s a big bridge...fill it with water!!! 拉登,一加拿大人还有布什总统走在大街上看到一盏金色的灯.他们擦了擦灯出现了一个精灵.精灵说:"我要满足你们每人一个愿望总共三个."加拿大人说:"我是个父亲我儿子将成为农夫,因此我想让加拿大的土地永远肥沃."精灵说了咒语愿望实现了.拉登看了很惊奇,他希望有座城墙围绕阿富汗.精灵又说了咒语愿望又实现了.布什总统问:"精灵请告诉我关于这座墙的事情."精灵回答:"墙厚50英尺,高500英尺,因而里面的任何东西出不来外面的任何东西进不去."布什总统说:"哇!那是座大桥耶...注满水!!!" my baby swallowed a bullet young mother: "doctor, my baby swallowd a bullet. what shall i do ? doctor: "dont point him at anybody." notes 1. to swallow a bullet: 吞下一颗子弹 2. to point at: 对...瞄准 allybaby once two hunters went hunting in the forest. one of them suddenly fell down by accident. he showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. the other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. the operator said calmly:"first, you should make sure that he is already dead." then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"what should i do next?" 两个猎人进森林里打猎,其中一个猎人不慎跌倒,两眼翻白,似已停止呼吸。另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。接线员沉着地说:“第一步,要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。”于是,接线员在电话里听到一声枪响,然后听到那猎人接着问:“第二步怎办?” fool_fox 标题:im the boss 内容:the boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasnt getting any respect. later that morning he went to a local card and novelty shop and bought a small sign that read, "im the boss". he then taped it to his office door.later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said. "your wife called, she wants her sign back!" note:staff meeting:员工会议

简单而幽默的英语笑话，带中文翻译

too
Doctor: Your cough sounds much better today.
Patient: It should. Ive been practicing all night.
医生：听上去你咳嗽今天好多了。
病人：应该如此。我昨晚练习了一整夜。