I was addressing a small gathering in a suburban Virginia living room—a women's group that had invited men to join them. Throughout the evening one man had been particularlytalkative, frequently offering ideas and anecdotes, while his wife sat silently beside him on thecouch. Toward the end of the evening I commented that women frequently complain that their husbands don't talk to them. This man quickly nodded in agreement. He gestured toward his wife and said, "She's the talker in our family." The room burst into laughter; the man looked puzzledand hurt. "It's true," he explained. "When I come home from work, I have nothing to say. If she didn't keep the conversation going, we'd spend the whole evening in silence."

address n.地址；[僻义] v.发表演讲

gathering [ˈɡæðərɪŋ] n.聚会

suburban [səˈbɜːrbən] adj.郊区的

talkative [ˈtɔːkətɪv] adj.健谈的

anecdote [ˈænɪkdoʊt] n.奇闻轶事

couch n.长椅，长沙发

gesture [ˈdʒestʃər] n.手势；v.做手势，，做动作示意

puzzled [ˈpʌzld] adj.困惑的

conversation [ˌkɑːnvərˈseɪʃn] n.交谈

burst into laughter（放声大笑）

我曾在Virginia市郊一个小型聚会妇女上发表过演讲——那次聚会在客厅举办，男人们也受邀参加。有个男人特别健谈，整晚都有说不尽的奇闻异事，数不尽的高谈阔论，而他的妻子则静静地坐在他身边，在沙发上一言不发。临近结束时，我说女性常常会抱怨丈夫和自己没话说。那个男人马上表示同意。他指着自己的太太说“在家里，她特能说。”这句话引得哄堂大笑；男人显得既困惑又委屈。他解释道：“真是这样的。我下班回家后，就没话说了。如果她再不说话，那我们就整夜无话。”

This episode crystallizes the irony that although American men tend to talk more than women in public situations, they often talk less at home. And this pattern is wreakinghavoc with marriage. 

episode [ˈepɪsoʊd] n.插曲

crystallize [ˈkrɪstəlaɪz] v.使...明确；使...具体化

havoc [ˈhævək] n.灾难

weak havoc with（给..带来浩劫）

这个小插曲清楚地展现了这个讽刺的事实：尽管美国男性在公众场合往往比女性健谈，但是他们在家却说得不多。这种模式会对婚姻带来重大损害。

The pattern was observed by political scientist Andrew Hacker in the late 1970s. Sociologist Catherine Kohler Riessman reports in her new book "Divorce Talk" that most of the women she interviewed—but only a few of the men—gave lack of communicationas the reason for their divorces.Given the current divorce rate of nearly 50 percent，that amounts to millions of cases in the United States every year —a virtualepidemic of failed conversation.

pattern [ˈpætərn] n.模式，样板，图案

divorce [dɪˈvɔːrs] n.离婚

virtual [ˈvɜːrtʃuəl] adj.实际上的

epidemic [ˌepɪˈdemɪk] n.流行病

give...as the reason for（把...作为原因）

政治学家Andrew Hacker在1970年代末观察到了这种模式。社会学家Catherine Kohler Riessman在其新书《离婚漫谈》中指出，她采访的大部分女性都把离婚原因归咎为缺乏沟通，而只有少数男性这么认为。现如今，美国的离婚率逼近50%，照此算来，每年美国有数百万例婚姻因此破裂——这其实就是沟通失败导致的流行病。

In my own research complaints from women about their husbands most often focusednot on tangibleinequities such as having given up the chance for a career to accompany a husband to his or doing far more than their share of daily life-support work like cleaning, cooking, social arrangements and errands. Instead they focused on communication: "He doesn't listen to me." "He doesn't talk to me." I found as Hacker observed years before that most wives want their husbands to be first and foremostconversational partners but few husbands share this expectation of their wives

tangible [ˈtændʒəbl]  adj.实际的，有形的

inequity [ɪnˈekwəti] n.不公平

career [kəˈrɪr] n.职业，事业

accompany [əˈkʌmpəni] v.陪伴

arrangement [əˈreɪndʒmənt] n.安排，筹备

errand [ˈerənd] n.差事

foremost [ˈfɔːrmoʊst] adj.最重要的

expectation [ˌekspekˈteɪʃn] n.期望

give up（放弃）

focus on（关注）

first and formost（首先，首要）

在我自己的研究中，女性对丈夫不满的焦点通常并非那些实际的不公，比如说，有的女性为了陪伴丈夫，支持他的事业而放弃了自己的事业，或者有的女性做的家务事